I apologize in advance for wearing the same 3 outfits in all my vacation photos. Jens has declared we only get 1 carry-on bag per person. With 17 flights across 5 continents, the time wasted in baggage claim, and the likelihood of losing a bag in a missed connection, it’s not worth packing those extra cute sandals, according to him.

So how does one pack for a 9-week trip across multiple climate zones? I have no idea. Those magazine articles where they show how 5 pieces of clothing can make 25 outfits seem unrealistic if you are traveling with dirty children, applying globs of sunscreen, or eating slippery food with chopsticks. There’s no way I’m going to make it.

The new duffle bags we bought at REI for the boys are 46 liters. Who measures clothes in liters? However much that is, I’m sure one bag is not enough.

I’m already eyeing space in the boys’ bags. Luckily my sons could care less if they wear clean clothes. Or is that unlucky? Regardless, those munchkins are half my size, so I’m claiming extra space in their bags.

So expect to see me rotating through blue, black and khaki – optimized to disguise dirt and fade into the spectacular background. Go ahead and look right past me to the skyline, and be thankful you don’t have to smell me!